Helen R. Nicolay Obituary - Visitation & Funeral Information

Helen Ruth was born on May 25, 1929, in Holland, Michigan, to Tena and Bernard VanDenBerg. Raised with her two younger sisters, Doris and Sarah, near the shore of Lake Michigan, Helen Ruth developed a deep, lifelong fondness for the lake and its sandy beaches. She and her friends, the closest being Donna Bradley, gathered there for fun and sun as teens and young adults. It was also where she would seek solace and reflection. In early adulthood, Helen Ruth lived and worked in Holland and Allegan. In 1960, she and her then-husband Ronald Lumley built a house on Giles Road in Muskegon where they welcomed their three daughters, Jean Marie (Tom), Lori Ellen, and Rhonda Sue. Helen Ruth loved that house, made it a home, and lived in it for all the rest of her days. As a single mom in an era when such was far less common, Helen Ruth modeled courage, resilience, and independence for her three girls. She worked hard, ferociously determined to keep her house, raise her children, and do it her way: with spirit, grit, and quick wit. She made her living managing the office at American Coil Spring Credit Union where she served as teller, loan officer, and bookkeeper…as well as friend, mentor, and confidante to all who entered. She retired at age 62. Shortly thereafter she was eager to volunteer and signed up to serve with both Hackley Hospital and Hospice of Muskegon. A dinner invite by a close friend forever changed her world midlife. It was there Helen Ruth, Ruthie, found a fun, true love in Robert Gene Nicolay (Nic), whom she married on October 14, 1987. That same year, Helen Ruth welcomed the first of three grandchildren. Britni Lei (Jay) arrived a month before the wedding, further infusing the season with joy and love. Ruthie and Nic loved and played a lifetime’s worth in just a few short years. Together they traveled the US, explored National Parks, and laughed as often as possible. Sadly, Nic preceded her in death in 1990 after a challenging illness. She held his love close and cherished him and their time together for the rest of her life. In the fall of 1990, grandson Lance Jared entered her world and Brett Lee followed in 1994. Her three daughters and three grandchildren were the absolute lights in her life. In 2004, when Jean married Tom Fassanella, Ruthie’s family and love expanded exponentially to include three step-grandchildren Kim (Frank), Lisa (Brent), and Tom (Shannon) and later their babies, her great grandchildren, Kyle, Cole, Cameron, Kendall, Brennan, and Riley. She filled her days and her heart with all of them, her sisters, and with dear friends. The sentiments shared by her closest friends echoed similarities of loyalty, a caring, listening ear, and extreme confidentiality. Your secrets and sharing were safe with her. If you were her friend, know she cared for you deeply. When her life and body slowed, Helen Ruth leaned into learning the latest technology, keeping in touch with her loves and the outside world using her laptop. She passionately used email, Facebook, and Messenger to communicate and care. Due to a fall in August 2021, Helen Ruth was unable to remain in her beloved home. The activity in the care facility and her tenacious focus on healing kept her from accessing the internet and thus remaining connected to friends and family. Know she talked about you often and cherished you deeply during these days. Helen Ruth entered hospice in April 2022, after an aggressive infection quickly ravaged her body. True to her nature, she fought back against what seemed insurmountable, recovering and enjoying many more days. She entertained and humored staff, flashed megawatt smiles, gave the kindest warmth to her girls and grandchildren, and enjoyed the wildlife show out her window. Particularly the red cardinal who visited daily, whom she nicknamed Baby. In the early hours of July 2, 2022, Helen Ruth quietly let go of all earthly struggle and put on her angel wings. Her courageous, spunky spirit lives on in all of us who knew and loved her. The family would like to thank all the caring staff at Faith Hospice-Trillium Woods for making our Mother’s last days the most honored and pleasant as they could possibly be. A private family service will be held in the near future. In lieu of flowers, donations in her name can be sent to Meals on Wheels or Faith Hospice at Trillium Woods.

Helen R. Nicolay

May 25, 1929 - July 2, 2022