Judith K. De Haan

G. Peter Vander Heide

294w ago

I was a parent not long after Judy adopted Jennifer. It has always been a pleasure to see the cousins hit it off the few times we were able to get together at holidays or other occasions. It was always a pleasure to visit Judy at the cottage. Fun playing tennis and beach activities. After my architecture degree, I also went the Michigan Graduate School of Business for an MBA. Jon was always someone I looked up to in a way, although that was shaken when he and Judy got divorced. When my first wife, Donna, and I divorced, Judy was happy to have me and my girls come to visit them in Alma on a holiday. It was a great visit and important to me to have a family place to go with the girls. But Jeanne’s allergy to cats sent us to the ER for a shot of epinephrine to keep her breathing freely. Then after Judy was divorced, I was happy that she was able to make a trip to PA to visit with Rena and myself at our Pocono house when she was hurting. Not that the Vander Heide’s talked very much about their feelings, you understand, but we were there for each other as much as we could be. When our family went through the difficulty of LaVerne’s death, Judy was tasked with being the one to deal with all the legalities, and she kept a level head and did a great job. LaVerne’s memorial in the mid 1990’s was the last time that the three of us siblings and most of our progeny have gotten together. At least we did a good job divvying up her artwork heritage. Judy played a major role. When Judy and Jon became friendly and helpful again, my opinion of Jon upgraded again.
I have happy memories of good times spent in Judy’s latter inland house in Grand Haven as well. Each visit was memorable, especially if our other sister Joyce and her husband Doug could make it at the same time. Judy managed to visit Rena and I in Philadelphia a couple of times. Once alone by auto, on an East Coast sweep, and once by air with Jennifer to our Delaware River condo. It was so nice to share the wonders of the city with her. She seemed to truly enjoy it. Also, our last visit to Judy in 2018 when she was in assisted living and couldn’t walk on her own was touching. She never lost her dignity in my view. She showed courage in relation to her prognosis and love for her family.

G. Peter Vander Heide

294w ago

As Judy’s little brother by twelve years my memories of her start early. When I was five, she gave me a wonderful stuffed toy at Christmas that became my bedtime companion for years. It was a wonderfully soft and fluffy, rather cocker spaniel-like companion. I loved it. While we shared our parents’ home, she was busy with her girlfriends and fashionable clothing.
When she was seeing Jon, or just after they were married, I remember visiting Jon’s parents who had a wonderful new Hi-fi stereo system. It was so new then that we listened to a recording of a train approaching and passing from left to right. We all agreed which way it was going. Judy was always helpful and supportive for me. Because of the age difference I imagine now that she was somewhat involved in my rearing. I don’t remember being angry with her as a child. She was a better baby-sitter than I got after she left home.
When she and Jon eloped, my mother was tremendously upset. It wasn’t because she thought that Jon was a bad choice. LaVerne thought that the elopement was selfish, and because Judy’s older sister Joyce had also eloped, she would never get her moment as mother of the bride. LaVerne. in tears in her bedroom the night they came home to announce it, begged me to promise that when I got married, I would not elope. Of course, I promised. Jon was in the MBA program at the University of Michigan when this happened. At home, I got to move into her old bedroom (at eight years old). Then Judy invited me to come and visit her and Jon at their efficiency married housing in Ann Arbor for a few days. Great trip! I met the neighbor’s kids who had to watch TV with headphones on so their father could study. Judy took me all over Ann Arbor. Better than orientation, except you’re not enrolled.
When Judy moved to East Grand Rapids and I was a high schooler, she would give me some yard work, or other domestic assignments. Always a pleasure. Great to earn some money, and my fondest memories are of a fall Saturday afternoon raking leaves in her yard as I listened to Bob Ufer call a Michigan football game on a transistor radio (probably my senior year of high school 1964 when the Wolverines went to the Rose Bowl). Also, one great time was waxing her wood floors while Dave Brubeck’s “Take Five” was playing on her stereo. Occasionally there would be a reason for me to drive her green convertible stick shift Karmann-Ghia. Great that she trusted me with it. One story that I remember came out later and I was unaware of at the time, was that Jon suggested I could crew on one of his sailing races. I would have loved it! But with full disclosure Judy and Jon mentioned that some of the sailors might not have the best language on the planet. That was enough for LaVerne to veto the idea. But she was OK with me going to work with my father’s construction coworkers. In retrospect, I don’t know if Dad knew about the whole thing, but the language on the boat and the construction site couldn’t have been very much different, and Dad had enough sense not to bring it home.
---Oops more than 4000 characters of memories to be continued

G. Peter Vander Heide

294w ago

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