Larry Gray's Obituary
“Where words fail, Music speaks”
~ Hans Christian Andersen
“A sailor is an artist whose medium is the wind"
~Webb Chiles
Larry Gray, deeply loved, and admired by many, passed onward without fanfare or fear, taking his first steps forward into his new life journey. Larry’s beloved wife, Judy, held him close as he slipped away gently and peacefully at home early in the morning on Sunday, May 12, 2019, after a long, courageous battle with a debilitating illness.
Lawrence (Larry) Gray, age 89, was born on November 25, 1929 to Kenneth and Martha Gray. He was raised in Romeo, Michigan.
Larry served two years (1952-1954) in the United States Army, the final year as Conductor of the 29th Infantry Regiment Male Chorus, while stationed in Okinawa. He was honorably discharged. For his services, he was awarded the National Defense Service Medal.
“Lar” as he was dubbed by his family and friends, had many interests including sports (golf, tennis, baseball and sailing). He and Judy shared these interests, equally, as they worked and played side-by-side throughout their marriage. One of their happiest memories was a year-long cruise in their sailboat, the Symbiosis. They were not alone on this venture. Along for the ride was their treasured English Cocker Spaniel, AKC Sequoia Sir Lancelot du Lac. He was called “Lance” for short and was the delight of their lives for many years. They embarked from Traverse City, MI, sailed north up the Grand Traverse bay to Northport, around the Point, then into Lake Michigan, heading south to their final destination, Florida! Of course, this required travel by motor on rivers, smaller lakes, and through several locks. With no public dockage available, it was necessary to find a place to moor before nightfall – collisions with tugboats after dark were a real concern. Fortunately, a tugboat nearby noticed them circling around. The crew offered them a tie-up to the tugboat. With some trepidation, Larry and Judy accepted the offer from these strangers. It was one of the best experiences on the trip. The crew kindly fed them a “frog-leg” supper, gave them hot water to wash their sailboat and treated them like guests. Refusing payment, the crew was happy to accept a beverage bottle, alcoholic in nature, from Judy and Larry’s locker! It seems it was against the rules for the crew to bring any liquid “refreshment” of their own. A jolly time was had by all. During their years together, Judy and Lar also loved biking around Muskegon and its lakes and on the roads around their home in the Lake Michigan dunes. Larry was an artist, too, working in wood and metal sculpture, home building design, model-building and, as an inventor, he belonged to the Muskegon Inventors Network, where he introduced the Tide Minders (a registered trademark name) for their boating products, used at docks when a boat is moored. Larry and Judy purchased a 30-foot RV and traveled the east coast promoting the Tide Minders; they passed through twelve states and into Canada (2013). Mystic Seaport, CT was most memorable.
Larry was a highly accomplished educator and musician. He earned his bachelor’s degree in Music from the University of Michigan and, subsequently, added his master’s degree in Music, also from U of M.
Following is a list of awards and honors presented to Larry during his teaching career:
~MSVMA (Michigan School Vocal Music Association, Member Emeritus, 1998
“In Recognition of an Outstanding Career in Vocal Music Education”
~Inducted into Mona Shores Educational Foundation Hall of Fame, 2013
~State of Michigan Certificate of Tribute (Signed by Gov and Lt. Gov.) 2010
Larry was a versatile and talented performing musician in his own right. He had knowledge of and interest in all aspects of music. He was a professional performer and played in various bands and orchestras, both classical and jazz for many years and loved gospel music. He was a great percussionist and had his own band for several years. For six years, he played drums in the Jon Petersen Jazz Trio at the Grand Traverse Resort in Traverse City, Michigan.
Larry’s legacy of accomplishments is derived from his love of instrumental and choral music and his joy and generosity when teaching. As an educator, his influence upon his students, young and older alike, was deeply felt and will never be forgotten. No matter your age or level of talent, one never left his rehearsals or classes without having learned something of great value. These students are his greatest legacy. His demand for giving the best you had was always coupled with kindness and patience. However, he would settle for nothing less than your best effort if you hoped to succeed in his classes or performances. He was a demanding director, never accepting anything other than your complete attention. A punctual man himself, he was not prone to tolerate tardiness or lack of preparation. Many of his students became music teachers themselves or continued to study and became highly successful, professional solo artists in their own right. Larry’s demand for personal discipline and good moral values was part of his success as a teacher and mentor. He was recently humbled to learn some of his students had entered the ministry. He taught tolerance, kindness and patience and molded lives in ways many never expected.
His teaching experiences were varied. Larry directed many choirs: Mona Shores A Cappella Choir, Allegros, Anchormen and Women’s Choir (1962-1973); Michigan State Honors Choir (1972); Muskegon Community College Singers and Collegiates (1972-1982; Interlochen Arts Academy Choir and Chorale (1982-1986); Muskegon Community College Singers (2002-2005); Temple United Methodist Church (1996-2006).
While his choirs provided a vocal performance education to all under his direction, he taught in the classroom, as well. At Muskegon Community College, he directed the College Chorale and Collegiates and taught Theory and Music Literature for ten years and was the Director of Choral Activities at Interlochen Arts Academy (private school) for four years and taught Theory and Sight-singing.
Larry served for seven years as Chairman, District VII in the Michigan School Vocal Association. He served for four years as President, Michigan Chapter, American Choral Directors Association; four years as Director, then Coordinator for MSVA Honors Choirs. For twenty years (1973-1993) he served as Clinician and Adjudicator for District and State MSVMA Choral Festivals.
Highlights of his career included a “People to People” choir journey. The Mona Shores A Cappella Choir travelled to Europe to compete in a world competition at an “Inter Tie Festival” in Teeside, England (1969). That same year, he and his choirs performed at the “International Choral Festival” in Llangollen, Wales, where they earned eleventh place in the Adult Choir Division. In this same competition, in 1972, his choir won fourth place. In 1973, the choir competed and won the “Wittenburg University Tri-state Invitational Choral Festival”. In 1983 and 1984, the Interlochen Arts Chorale, under Larry’s direction, won the “Johnny Mann Great American Choir Competition”, earning a $10,000 award for the Interlochen Arts Academy.
Larry and Judy were married nearly 40 years. In lieu of the anniversary party they will not have, here is a poem. It expresses the unique completeness of their union.
The Traveler – James Dillet Freeman
He has put on invisibility.
Dear Lord, I cannot see---
But this I know, although the road ascends
And passes from my sight,
That there will be no night;
That You will take him gently by the Hand
And lead him on
Along the road of life that never ends,
And he will find it is not death but dawn.
I do not doubt that you are there as here.
And You will hold him dear.
Our Life did not begin with birth,
It is not of the earth;
And this that we call death, it is no more
Than the opening and closing of a door---
And in your house how many rooms must be
Beyond this one where we rest momentarily.
Dear Lord, I thank you for the faith that frees,
the love that knows it cannot lose its own;
The life that, looking through the shadows, sees
That You and He and I are ever one!
It was a happy and joyous marriage firmly knotted together in a deeply rooted belief in Christ Jesus. They looked to Him for guidance and peace in all situations. Larry often spoke of Judy as his “hero”— in gratitude for her steadfast love, devotion and as his caregiver these past three years. Happy anniversary, Judy and Larry. God blessed you.
Larry treasured the years shared with his loving family, as they gathered for holidays and other activities. He is survived by his cherished wife, Judy, along with her children: daughter, Barbara Spencer, granddaughter, Kalyn Cole (deceased), and, the gift from Kalyn, the joy of everyone’s life, great-granddaughter, Brooklyn (Brooky) Cole; and stepson, John Spencer.
Larry is also survived by former wife, Jeanne Gray, and their sons, Kenneth (Hector) Gray and Jeffrey (Ruth) Gray. Extended family includes sister, Christie (Rick) Randall; nephews, Neil Jr. (Christine) Gray and Donald (Lynn) Gray; niece, Jennifer Gray; great nephew, Brett, and great-niece, Rachael.
It was Larry’s express wish to forego any memorial service after his death. He desired a Living Memorial Benefit Concert to establish the Lawrence Gray Music Scholarship Fund, set up by Rick Kelly whose non-profit organization, “Music With A Message For Kids, Inc.,” sponsors Larry’s Fund. His wish was granted September 2016 at the Temple United Methodist Church. He was deeply grateful and humbled by the effort of Director Rick Kelly, Co-Director Gwenneth Bean, performers, choir members and former students, too many to mention. It was an overwhelming success. To his joy, he was able to take part in this thrilling event as he lifted his arms and conducted his devoted students from all walks of life… for one last time.
A private ceremony of cremation has taken place. A Celebration of Life will occur at a later date.
The family wishes to convey thanks to Harbor Hospice, the many friends who supported Larry and Judy with happy visits, especially pastors Gerald and Susan Hagans; and to the staff at the Sytsema Funeral Home and all others who shared this journey with us. Larry (not having lost a tooth) was so grateful to Dr. Ken for he and Judy’s free dental work; also, the wonderful meals shared with Ken and Hector. So thankful also for Jeff’s correspondence through letters and phone calls, helping Judy and the many many visits over the years. All blessings! Judy so appreciated the numerous lovely cards and flowers received. Larry was a courageous trouper through his last three years and so deserving of the love he felt from and for all. Thank you once again, Jeff Jakeway and Julie George – couldn’t have accomplished this obituary without your supportive efforts! -jg
Contributions suggested: Lawrence W. Gray Music Scholarship Fund (Checks payable to: Music With A Message For Kids, Inc. 10222 Bair Ln. Marcellus, MI 49607) or Temple United Methodist Church (2500 Jefferson St. Muskegon Heights, MI 49444.) Arrangements entrusted to The Lee Chapel of Sytsema Funeral & Cremation Services, 6291 S. Harvey St. Norton Shores, MI.
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