Anthony's passing is so sad. It has been hard to find words. My heart goes out to his simply wonderful family.
He was always so supportive and such a good friend in high school and college. He was there, encouraging me when I went to write music for the first time... I think he may have been the first person to hear the first song I ever recorded. I'm not sure how that comes across, but just know that sharing that part of myself with anyone was a *really* big deal to me at the time. He was so kind and supportive at a time when I was so vulnerable.
I have been remembering so many wonderful and random moments with him. Listening to music, driving around, grabbing some food, hanging out, going to the beach, playing hockey... so much. A running tounge-in-cheek joke about our "discovery" that all the good songs are in 3/4 time. I remember sharing bands, helping him organize his music collection on his computer for hours... half of which were Britney Spears deep cuts... entrusting me to come up with his AOL Instant Messenger screename. He was always so cool with my sister. I remember distinctly jamming to this kind of silly punk song with Anthony in my new (to me) car some summer afternoon heading south on Crahen Ave. We were having an absolute blast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD5_5MLRYzw .
What I remember most is that blissful feeling of just relaxing together... doing nothing or going on some random adventure. When time suspends. In every single memory I have of him, I see his bright smile. When I remember Anthony, I feel that comfort of a good friendship.
We took such parallel paths from college, both becoming psychologists. It's such a shame that we lost touch amidst the demands of graduate school. I'll just be honest and say those years of distance sting a lot right now. I've been seeing some patients share publicly how important he was to them and I've seen how he was clearly a beloved supervisor and instructor. He made a remarkable impacts on the world. It really seems like he was not just a clinician, but a clinician in his own incredible way. I'm not suprised.
Psychotherapy is hard to do well and his level of excellence requires a good soul. He was kind, generous, honest, and upstanding to his core. I see now he was in the process of starting a clinic under the moniker "uncertainty coach." Brilliant. I recently reached out to him to catch up and half-joke about starting a practice together. I hope he saw it.
I got my hands on a copy of his first-authored and peer reviewed case study published last year. It's so beautiful. He brought relationship themes into exposure treatment for someone suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder. He made a compassionate and creative clinical move in a very difficult situation. By doing that, he reached someone who in all likelihood otherwise wouldn't have found the same healing. And by publishing this article, he was trying to help others do the same. I know it will change how I work with similar patients. I have no doubt he helped many people and I have a deep respect for that. I know he had my back and I am forever grateful. I'll miss him.
